Rolling out of Buffalo, NY - Wednesday 9:19 EST

I wonder how big a lake has to be before you can't see across it. It's similar to that point where water is too deep to touch bottom: any bigger, or any deeper, makes little difference. On a map the Great Lakes look bigish, but certainly not Great. But they are. They're mini-oceans. I've realized my train is called the Lake Shore Limited first because it tracks the shore of the Great Lakes, and second because leg room is limited. I think the Great Lakes are what keep the midwest from reverting to incest and Rush Limbaugh. They've got their own little oceans tucked away. 

I'm rolling out of Buffalo, and for the first time this trip I have two seats to myself. Having a travel companion, like I did through Chicago, is one thing. Having a stranger to your left is something else. Especially trying to sleep. 

My problem is I don't look threatening. My first hint of this came in adolescence, when I realized my unique charm within the demographic of women with daughters around my age did not extend to girls around my age. Further proof came when, cashiering one summer, an older woman literally reached across the checkout counter and tousled my hair mid-order. If you think there is even a 0.01% chance that a cashier you annoy may gruesomely kill you and cut off your skin, you do not tousle the hair. Clearly this woman found me quite docile. Last summer around one third of New York's 2.7 million seasonal tourists handed me their cameras asking for a group photo--in anywhere from broken to incredibly-formal english. And finally, every time I'm on a bus, a subway, or a plane and seats begin to fill up, I'm the first guy people choose to sit next to. 

So it was last night, when despite my jacket covering the aisle seat, a young woman asked if it was taken. I paused before I answered, hoping I suppose she would just disappear if I didn't say anything. But she didn't. And the seat was in fact available.

If you can believe it, I actually tried to look unapproachable. I didn't do anything too blatant, rather I just sort of pinched in my eyebrows and looked straight ahead--I was going for "dumb person working on basic math." I should've muttered bible verses.